There is so much “girl-on-girl” crime out there. And I’m tired of it.
I’m guilty of it too, but recently I had an awakening thanks to Chrissy Teigen.
I’m a fan of the show ‘Lip Sync Battle’ and I’m guilty of mocking Chrissy most of the times I’ve watched it. Making fun of her for giggling and shaking her booty all over the stage while barely wearing a tight dress and too much makeup.
‘You’re making the rest of us look bad’ – I’ve said more than once.
Yesterday, I came across an article summarizing Chrissy’s twitter feud with Donald Trump and thought to myself ‘you go, girl.’
This isn’t the first time something Chrissy has done has elicited that reaction from me. In that same article, you can see her response to the Planned Parenthood attacks – a very classy response, in my opinion. She tweeted out “Every time shit like this happens, john and I immediately make another donation to planned parenthood.” Now that’s a productive response to have, I thought to myself.
There are numerous examples of times where Chrissy has similarly won me over. She instagrammed a photo of herself, no photoshop, proudly showing her stretch marks and even lovingly referring to them as ‘stretchies.’ Just check out the combination of hilarity and insightfulness that is her twitter feed.
She shouldn’t have had to win me over, though.
I read an interview with Natalie Dormer yesterday where she expressed frustration that Taylor Swift said she didn’t identify as a feminist “because she believes gender shouldn’t matter.” Feminism means exactly that – that gender shouldn’t matter. A guy should be able to order a fruity cocktail drink without it being “girly” and a girl should be able to have short hair and wear jeans without it being “masculine.” But more importantly, a woman doesn’t need to refuse to be beautiful to be a feminist.
Chrissy enjoys wearing tight dresses and a lot of makeup. I enjoy wearing no makeup and I don’t own a pair of high heels. These facts don’t make her any less strong and independent or me any less beautiful.
I’ve very publically admired women like Amy Schumer and Jennifer Lawrence that more fit my ideal of a feminist or strong woman – cool, laid back, outspoken. The type of woman that I aspire to be. But Chrissy is just as fierce, outspoken, and strong. I identify with Amy and Jen because I see them as more like myself in style and attitude choices, and that led me to mistakenly put Chrissy in a separate category from us. And that was wrong.
Not only do women come in all shapes and sizes but so do strong, independent women. And so do feminists.
I recently experienced a little “girl on girl” crime myself. I reached out to a woman who had similar emotional trauma from a guy in our pasts. She ended up sharing that information with him. I’m sure she did it to gain some sort of approval from him. It stung, because I thought we had shared a moment of solidarity. Instead, she did what so many women (including myself) do and turned on each other for the favor of a man. We should be strengthening, encouraging, and lifting each other up – but we so rarely do. As Tina Fey’s character (and Tina, as she wrote the script) said in ‘Mean Girls’ – “you guys have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores – it just makes it ok for guys to call you sluts and whores.”
But of course, Chrissy was promoting this all along – so I’ll let her sum it up.
“Men are very tough, very critical of me. I think they expect you to basically just be a picture. They don’t want to hear you speak. Women, I love. It’s amazing to me, because I am a swimsuit model; I’m half-naked. I just love the fact that women love me, and it makes me love them so much back.”
– Chrissy Teigen, to Cosmo
You’re right Chrissy. We should all be showing a little more love, and a lot less judgment, for those around us. And I’m sorry it took me this long to realize that.
You go, girl.